For me, it was my first mammogram the other day. The good ol’ BOOB CHECK. Now I don’t want to fend off any of my MAN-ly readers, so I’ll just say that it wasn’t as painful as I had thought and imagined. I guess now is the time to be thankful that I don’t have as much “PAIN” to worry about as some women.

One thing that made it more bearable was the lady doing the… um,handling. Her hands were nice and warm, and we talked a lot. (Hi Mammo-Lady if you’re reading this!!) We discovered that we’re basically living parallel lives, except she has daughters. And she’s been going through it a little longer than I have. I’ve felt very alone in my situation until now. I wouldn’t wish for anyone to go through this, but it felt soooo-ooooo good, I mean INCREDIBLY comforting to know that someone can understand exactly what I’m going through. She understands that I had to let my boys go so they wouldn’t resent me for not letting them get to know their father. She understands that if I’d said no, that they probably would’ve treated me horribly while having to stay with me. She understands. Yeah, I could definitely see us being friends and giving each other a shoulder to lean on.

This is how similar we are:

We both live in the same dinky country town.

She was miserable in her first marriage.

We both were afraid to divorce thinking the kids would be taken away by their fathers. We thought the only way out was DEATH. Our difference here is that I wished BH dead, while she was wishing herself dead. I really hate that she felt that way.

Her daughter hasn’t spoken to her in over five years, my son hasn’t spoken to me in two. I feel so bad to say that her daughter didn’t include or invite her to her wedding. That’s one of my fears, that I’ll never dance with my son at his wedding.

We feel that our estranged children have been brainwashed influenced negatively by their father.

We have a great relationship with our other child, and we’re so thankful for that.

Our 2nd husbands are God sends!! We love them infinitely. And by the way, her hubby is very TYPE A too! Ha!

We both have dogs (and I have a cat) that we love and that love us every day, all day long and save us from going insane. Pets are the best!

We both keep taking one day at a time.

We know there’s such a thing as HOPE. We live and breathe HOPE.

She gave me a compliment that left me speechless. (Can you believe that??) She said “You’ve made a huge sacrifice for your boys. That is such a great thing.”

Even though it doesn’t feel great, it was the first time I understood what that meant. I understood because I saw her as a reflection of me. I look at her and I admire her for all she does and for all that she’s gone through. I see that she’s made a sacrifice for her children. For her to say that about me left me feeling very uplifted . Maybe I’m not so bad after all…..

And THAT is such a great thing.