***Disclaimer*** To those of you who are closest to me and reading this: This is NOT to be taken personally! It’s not directed towards you AT ALL!  To those of you who don’t me from Adam, this is not directed at you either. With that being said, here goes:

Am I the only one who holds grudges and has resentment-no matter how big or small the situation is??  Please tell me I’m not so I won’t feel like a lame-a$$.

I’m just in a weird place right now. I’m mad. And I’m holding a teeny tiny grudge. I’m not having resentment towards anyone in particular. Ok maybe just a tad, but resentment is resentment whether it’s towards a person or just a situation, right?  I know, I know, nobody said life would be fair. And it’s not. If anyone knows that, it’s me! But do you ever have those situations where things could be different but because of someone else’s situation, they’re not?

Which brings me to the next question… Am I supposed to be a martyr and say it’s ok and just suck it up? Or do I stand up for myself and be a bitch?

Martyr.

Bitch.

Not sure which one is more appealing….

From where I’m standing I’ll end up being both. A bitchy martyr. I feel that no matter how much bitching and moaning I’d do, the situation would remain the same. So one part of me says “why gripe in the first place if it’s not going to do any good?” Then the other half of me says “why shouldn’t I stand up for myself and speak my mind?”  The reason I’d like to say something is because I want my feelings to be known so that hopefully it doesn’t happen again in the future.

Can I just crawl up in a drunken stupor and sleep for a month or two??  No? Not allowed?

How ’bout a little rebellion?  ’Cause I’m feeling rebellious…

I’m sure as time goes by, this will all pass and then I’ll be feeling guilty over being resentful. And for holding a teeny tiny grudge. Oh, the guilt thing again… is guilt something women are just born with?? If so, I want a guiltectomy.

What about my feelings? Don’t they count? In my “former” life (*ahem* first marriage *ahem*), my feelings didn’t matter. Now I know that they do and I will stand up for them now. Especially after living in NY and getting a little attitude…

In the end, I know I’ll be forgiving. I’ll end up being the one to say I’m sorry. (Why me all the time??  Must be that stupid, stupid, boatload of empathy I have.)

After I’ve said my apologies, I’ll probably announce how great my appreciation is and profess my undying love.

Resentment sucks.