Just between you and me

This entry was posted Monday, 10 May, 2010 at 6:53 pm

Just between you and me, I’m soooo glad that Mother’s Day is over. I love Mother’s Day for my mother. I can “officially”  tell her how much I love her and miss her, what a great mom she is, and that she’s my all time best friend EVER.

But Mother’s Day for me?  Hmmm, not so much.

When you have two teenage boys that live with their very bitter towards me father and stepmother, you really can’t expect too much. But what is considered “too much”?

Since Mother’s Day is on a Sunday and that’s “my night” to call, I was feeling pretty confident that I’d get a sweet “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!” from my younger son-WS2. (I knew better than to expect anything from my older son who’s almost 19 and thinks he doesn’t need a mother in his life right now. If I had heard from him you would’ve heard me scream with joy from the mountain tops. And I do mean that literally.)

I know that some, ok most…, Sundays I don’t get an answer when I call WS2, but I thought maybe, just maybe, since it was Mother’s Day he’d be sure to answer. I called at my usual scheduled time with no answer (but a very generic voicemail-much different that the personal message I usually hear.)  I called again 15 minutes later and again no answer.

Since it was Mother’s Day and he had missed my call, I just thought for sure that he’d call me back and I’d get to hear his sweet voice on my special day.  My phone didn’t ring. In fact, the only sound I heard was the breaking of my heart.

I don’t know the situation at their house, so I don’t know if it was WS2’s choice not to answer or call back, OR if it was arranged so that he wouldn’t hear my call and then be given a list of things to keep him busy right up until bedtime. (I say this because it has happened before-you know the ol’ clean-your-room-tonight-or-you-can’t-play-tomorrow-oops-now-it’s-time-for-bed routine.)

After I picked myself up and put my big girl panties on, I was reminded of a few things:

First, you can’t control or change people. I don’t want to control or change WS2, I just wish he acted differently sometimes. If it wasn’t his choice to talk to me, then I wish he’d stand up and do whatever it takes to get to me.

And, just because you think things should be a certain way in life, doesn’t mean they will actually turn out that way.  I always thought the boys and I would be close. And I never in a million years thought things would turn out the way they have. But they have turned out this way and now I’m having to accept that this is my reality.

And finally, I have so many people who love and care for me.  Knowing that I have their love and support means the world to me.

Keeping these things in mind has helped me feel better now…. at least until next Mother’s Day!

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