Empathy: Identification with and understanding of another’s situation, feelings, and motives.

I don’t normally go around thinking about this kind of stuff, but the other day I started thinking about my empathy towards others when I was listening to the Cosmo Channel on SiriusXM Radio. The DJ’s-Taylor and Victoria-were talking about breaking up their relationships with close friends when that friend had done them wrong, but then after the relationship was over, they still felt badly/guilty over ending it.  That’s when I started realizing I’M NOT SO CRAZY AFTER ALL!!  (Ok, no comments!)

But the more I thought about it, the more I started wondering: to what degree is it normal to be empathetic? Where do you draw the line for being too empathetic towards someone? How bad does someone have to treat you before you don’t feel empathy towards them?

My ex-husband treated me, um, well, horribly!  I WANTED to leave him. I HAD to leave him. I DID leave him. And I took my kids with me. I don’t regret leaving, AT ALL. NOT FOR ONE SINGLE SOLITARY MINUTE. I think he totally got what he deserved for the way he acted. Growing up I was taught to be very considerate, think about other people’s feelings, and do unto others blah, blah, blah. At the time I went against what I was taught. When I left him, I was not considerate. I didn’t care about his feelings. But I was empathetic. I could identify with the emotions and feelings of anger, hurt, betrayal, and bitterness since I had felt them before. They were the same emotions that he probably shared with my boys, who now possibly hold it against me. Especially WS1. I’m not accusing, I’m just sayin’….

I’ve always been a good care taker, but never related it to empathy. I’ve also known that I’m really empathetic, but I never realized just how much until I started surfing the world wide web.  I came across an Empathy Test.  You know I had to take it!  I scored a 71. That sounds like a pretty average, normal score, don’t you think? That’s what I was expecting it to be anyway-NORMAL.  Until I saw MAXIMUM SCORE: 80.  Ooopsie!!  Then I started feeling bad about myself so I decided to take another test that I found. I scored 76% which comes in at “Medium High”. I also found this- “it does seem possible that one could feel too much empathy, to the point where they become overly-affected by another person’s moods”.

I always feel bad when someone, anyone is going through a crappy emotion whether I made them feel that way, they brought it on themselves, or just something that they’re going through. Maybe that’s why I’m usually the first one to say I’m sorry? Maybe that’s why I’m such a pushover?

I’m so doomed.

I’m pathetically empathetic.

I know you took the test! What was your score?