I have a cold. Or allergies.  How do you tell the difference?

~sniff~

It started the other night. THE DAY AFTER WE GOT HOME. I couldn’t wait to get back here in NY to enjoy our house in the woods again.

And now I have this cold. Or allergies.  I don’t know the difference.

When my throat started getting scratchy, I was in denial.  “NO! NO! NO! PLEASE!  I don’t wanna be sick!!”  So I kept swallowing a lot, thinking I could wash it down with my spit.  You know, that magic medicinal spit of mine.  The same spit I use to make my cuts stop bleeding. Come on, you know you’ve done it! 

“I’ll be better in the morning, I just need some rest. I’ll go to sleep and when I wake up I’ll be good as new.”  Between the begging, the swallowing, and the lying pep talk, none of it worked.  So here I am.

With a cold. Or allergies.

~sniff~

Snot, yes I said it, is just so complicated! One minute it feels all jammed packed and your nose feels like a suitcase full of enough clothes to last a decade.  The next minute it’s running faster than a New York minute.   Other times it’s just hanging around, checking out the nostril scene.

Then there’s the sneezing. AAAAhhhh, the sneezing…. When I sneeze with a cold, or allergies, I just wanna ‘CHOO everything out of my head. Don’t you hate it when you’re waiting for a sneeze to come? All that “aaaah…. aaaaah…. aaaaah  “it’s never going to get here!”  then all of a sudden you sneeze your toenails out.

IT FEELS SOOOO GOOD!

Except then you have to blow your nose. Your ears feel stopped up.  Your nose is red and starting to peel.

AGAIN. FOR THE  5,345,567,927,036^th TIME.

~sniff~

The best part? Oh, the best part is when you wake up in the morning with crusties all around your nose and you can’t breathe and you’re coughing up hardened phlegm, yes, I said that too, and your lips are cracked and bleeding from being so chapped. (No worries there, I’ll just use my miracle medicinal spit to take care of that.)

Isn’t THAT attractive??!?

But that’s where I’m at.  Day 4.  Now I’m looking forward to the day where my snot dries up, my nostrils burn every time I inhale, and new skin has replaced the peeled on my nose and my lip.

Nothin’ like setting your sights high…..