I’ve never read the story of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I’ve only heard stories about it.

I’ve never even seen the movie. I’ve only seen pictures of it.

I’ve heard the phrase “Jekyll and Hyde” many times but I’m not sure how I learned what it meant. Can I say “I just knew?”

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say:  The work is known for its vivid portrayal of a split personality, split in the sense that within the same person there is both an apparently good and an evil personality each being quite distinct from the other. The novella’s impact is such that it has become a part of the language, with the phrase “Jekyll and Hyde” coming to mean a person who is vastly different in moral character from one situation to the next.

Lately I’ve dubbed myself just that. Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde.

On Easter Sunday, I called WS2 to tell him Happy Easter. Again, and as usual, he didn’t answer the home phone or his cell phone. (If you’re new to my story, there’s some background here and here.) I’m starting to sound like a broken record, right?!  It’s because I keep getting the same ol’, same ol’.

~static…. skip. static…. skip.~

Most people, including me at one time (I hate to admit), think of a non-custodial mother as unfit  because of an addiction, abuse, or psychological problems. I didn’t have my children taken away from me. As boys, they wanted to get to know their father. I didn’t want them to go (Lord knows I struggled with THAT for a long time), but I wanted to give them that opportunity. If I had known that the situation would’ve turned out like it has, I’m not sure if I would’ve let them go. I feel they have been turned against me ever since. How does it happen that one day everything is JUST FINE as in the case of WS1, and the next day I hear “I DON’T TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE”? Do children just stop loving a parent on their own? If you’ve never heard of Parental Alienation Syndrome, or PAS, read this.

So one side of me-meet Dr. Jekyll- feels like I should keep trying. I want to keep trying. I don’t want WS2 to ever think that I gave up on him.  I can’t abandon him. What if it’s something beyond his control? If you know me personally, you know that I always give people an “out”, a reason why someone might be acting the way they do.  So I call every Sunday night at my scheduled time. And 99% of the time, I don’t get an answer. But I call anyway. I send gifts for all the occasions-Valentine’s Day, St Patrick’s Day, Easter, etc. And 100% of the time, I don’t get a ‘thank you’ call.  (Even though that’s not why I send them.) But I send them anyway.

Then a fed up, tired-of-it-all persona walks into my brain-meet Mrs. Hyde. I am sooooo tired. I’m emotionally tired. I’m sick-of-it tired. I’m tired of this one-way relationship. Most days I just feel like I wanna give up. I feel spiteful and think “I’m not going to call him this Sunday!”  I’m tired of WS2 not taking the responsibility to call his mother. He is almost 14 after all!! He knows that I love him with every ounce of my being. He knows that I cherish those phone calls like nothing else in this world. Why is this happening? THIS makes me want to say “Fine. I’m done.”  It all feels like a waste of time anyway. I’m just not getting anywhere. I feel angry, hurt, frustrated, and unfortunately, hopeless.

So there it is. I have choice A or B.  I don’t think I can live with either one.

I’m sure Jekyll will beat my “hyde”.

It may be Wordless Wednesday, but when this happened I had PLENTY to say…..

Have you ever gotten an email with the subject “Getting To Know You” or something like that? I get them all the time and it’s kind of addicting to me. You get to know your friends and your friends get to know you.

Soooooo, I grabbed this whole ABC thing from Cardiocandyography who snagged it from Keeping Up With Kaegan so that you could get to “know” me better!  When you’re finished reading my ABC’s, make one of your own and send me a link! I’d like to “know” you better too!

Ok, here goes….

A. AREA CODE : 607 and 832

B. BED SIZE: King in NY, Queen in TX.  I prefer the King size since Hubby sleeps in the middle, the dog sleeps sideways on the other side of Hubby, and the cat sleeps by my head.

C. CHORE YOU HATE: I wish that said “chores” because it’s so hard to pick which one I hate the most. I guess I’ll have to say dusting, since I don’t do it very often.

D. DOG’S NAME:  Baylee is my awesome dog. Who takes up a lot of room in our bed.

E. ESSENTIAL “START THE DAY!” ITEM:  definitely a cup of coffee! or two.

F. FAVORITE COLOR:  Purple has been my favorite color since 1st grade after I discovered Donny Osmond and that was his favorite color. After he went by the wayside, I still loved purple. But not enough to wear it. Or decorate my house with it.

G. GOLD OR SILVER:  Silver.  As in James Avery silver.

H. HEIGHT:  Somewhere between 5’4″ and 5’5″. I’m the shortest one in my family. Even younger family members are taller than me!! Which is fine by me since I fit perfectly next to my Hubby, who is also shorter than my family. He’s not so short, it’s just that my family is tall.

I. INSTRUMENTS YOU PLAY: I played flute all through middle and high school band. Yeah, I’m one of those ‘band people’. I also played piano when I was younger.

J. JOB:  SAHW(ife)

K. KIDS:  2 teenage BOYS

L. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: Hubby, Me, Baylee, and Esther. Read this and you’ll understand why the 2 teenage BOYS aren’t in my list anymore.

M. MOM’S NAME: Vera

N. NICKNAME: D, Wife, Wifey

O. OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAY: The births of my BOYS, kidney stone surgery (ugh), and hysterectomy, a.k.a. the-absolute-best-thing-I’ve-ever-done-why-did-it-take-me-so-long. Hopefully that’s all for a while….

P. PET PEEVE: (“I’d like to buy an “S”.”)  I have pet peeves! I probably have more than I’d care to admit, but one of them is when you give someone an inch, and they take a mile.  Another one is when people don’t use their blinkers when they’re turning.

Q. QUOTE FROM A MOVIE:   From Goldmember- “A shmoke und a pancake. You know, a flapjack und a shigarette? No? Shigar und a waffle? No? Pipe und a crepe? No? Bong und a blintz? No? Well, then there ish no pleashing you.”  Also from Goldmember- “Boo-frickity-hoo” and “SCOTTY DON’T” and “Yes Frau, on the whole Preparation H feels good.”.

R. RIGHTY OR LEFTY?:  righty-tighty

S. SIBLINGS: 2 older brothers. Yes, I’m the youngest and the only girl. Yes, I’m spoiled. Oh,….wait. Like the bumper sticker I saw once “I’m not spoiled, just well taken care of”. That sounds so much better.

T. TIME YOU WAKE UP: Usually whenever Hubby wakes up-he’s such a morning person!  Which is not always the time I would like to wake up-I’m definitely not a morning person.

U. UNDERWEAR: Yes.

V. VEGGIE YOU DISLIKE: Again, this needs to say “VeggieS” since I don’t like 1. cauliflower, 2. brussels sprouts 3. beets 4. mushrooms  (I would add tomatoes but technically they’re a fruit)

W. WAYS/REASONS WHY YOU ARE LATE: Oh good! This one is PLURAL! Because more often than not, I’m usually 5 minutes late everywhere I go. Reasons vary from waking up late (see T.), being sucked in by Twitter, taking too long to get ready, and traffic. I prefer to use the traffic excuse since I can’t help that. Although some people would say that if I left earlier, I might miss all that traffic. Wonder who that MORNING PERSON might be?? Hmmm…..

X. XRAYS YOU’VE HAD: The usual dental x-rays-bitewings and pano, and my hand when I had a ligament problem in my finger.

Y. YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE:   I make a yummy peach cobbler, cherry pie, and Chocolate Crinkles cookies. I don’t bake much anymore since it’s just the two of us. If I did I’d end up eating almost the whole thing because Hubby’s not much of a sweets eater. I usually end up scarfing down whatever desserts my mom makes when I visit her. You haven’t lived until you’ve had her Lemon Meringue Pie!

Z. ZOO ANIMALS YOU LIKE:  I love the bears. Polars, Pandas, and Grizzlies.

Now it’s your turn….

I’m playing TWIFFIC TWAFFIC again!

DIRECTIONS: To play along and increase your twitter twaffic do the following:

@Yankee_Wife