Even though I’m still reading Nora Roberts’ Vision in White (every time I open the book to read it, I end up falling asleep shortly afterwards due to exhaustion and my sleepy pill working really fast!), I have read Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult.  I LOVE her stories! I can’t say it enough, I la-la-la-love them! 

Synopsis from www.jodipicoult.com:

Shay Bourne – New Hampshire’s first death row prisoner in 69 years – has only one last request: to donate his heart post-execution to the sister of his victim, who is looking for a transplant. Bourne says it’s the only way he can redeem himself…but with lethal injection as his form of execution, this is medically impossible. Enter Father Michael Wright, a young local priest. Called in as Shay’s spiritual advisor, he knows redemption has nothing to do with organ donation – and plans to convince Bourne. But then Bourne begins to perform miracles at the prison that are witnessed by officers, fellow inmates, and even Father Michael – and the media begins to call him a messiah. Could an unkempt, bipolar, convicted murderer be a savior? It seems highly unlikely, to the priest. Until he realizes that the things Shay says may not come from the Bible…but are, verbatim, from a gospel that the early Christian church rejected two thousand years ago…and that is still considered heresy.

Change Of Heart looks at the nature of organized religion and belief, and takes the reader behind the closely drawn curtains of America’s death penalty. Featuring the return of Ian Fletcher from Keeping Faith, it also asks whether religion and politics truly are separate in this country, or inextricably tangled. Does religion make us more tolerant, or less? Do we believe what we do because it’s right? Or because it’s too frightening to admit that we may not have the answers?

It’s been waaaay too long. And by ‘waaaay’, I really mean WAAAAY too long.  

I love pedicures.  I really, REALLY do! But you wouldn’t know it by looking at my white trash toe job.  My last pedi was back in May (April??) up in my redneck part of the New York woods, of all places.  Now, you may not think anything about having a pedicure in the redneck woodsy part of New York, but let me tell you, those Yankee’s just aren’t as toe friendly as we are down here in the south.  Southern pedicurists rock my flip flops off!!  I had my startthesummeroffright pedi up north just to have some sort of feet decency before heading south for the summer. I couldn’t wait to have my southern style foot rub once I got here but since we’ve been at SCHLITTERBAHN almost every day, my toes are getting the worst of it.  I’m not even going to discuss the state of my heels, although they could sand down a 2 x 4 in nothing flat. ugh.

I thought about taking a foot picture just so you’d get the full effect.

Nobody likes a foot picture.  Not even a pretty foot picture.

I’m in full out desperation mode when it comes to my guilty, but absolutely necessary, pleasure. My biggie toenail has split down the middle and is now a nub of a nail down to the quick with only a few patches of polish.  The end of my second toenail has been ripped off courtesy of the bottom of the pool.  Needless to say, my polish is only 1/2 there as well.  I had to pick off the end of my nail on the third toe just so it’d match the others.  Then my fourth toe has absolutely NO polish on it.  It’s the blacksheep of the piggy fam.  My pinkie toenail polish is just barely hanging on….  And that’s just my right foot.  Not even gonna GO THERE for my left.  

I’ve tried to polish the patches eroded by the chlorine and pool surfaces, and Lord knows what else, but my homegrown polish jobs just look gnarly.  (sob)

Guess I’ll break out my cotton balls and acetone.

They say opposites attract. Whoever “they” are…. in our case, “they” must be right. I don’t know of any other couple as opposite as my Hubby and me.

Obviously, he’s the Yankee, I’m the southern girl.

Without him, yankeewife.com would not be possible. Not with me anyway. Something most people don’t know about us is that he’s younger and I’m older. We ‘trade’ ages sometimes. Hey, it works for me! (SSsshhh! Most people think he’s older, so this will be our little secret!)

Hubby is a leftie, I’m a rightie.

He’s hot natured, I’m always cold. He just loves when I crawl into bed and put my sub-zero toes on his leg.

Our personalities couldn’t be any farther apart. He’s so “Type A”. Yep, you guessed it! A workaholic who’s impatient, excessively time-conscious, highly competitive, aggressive, and incapable of relaxation. Whew! Don’t let those words fool you though. He’s really a big teddy bear. (SSsshhh! don’t tell anyone THAT, either!!)

Oh, I almost forgot, I’m “Type Zzz”. I’m very patient, relaxed, passive, and easy-going. MOST of the time. And almost to a fault. Which is probably why I’m such a procrastinator (but that’s a whole other blog…).

One of our biggest opposites is that he’s a morning person, and I’m so NOT! He’s up at the crack of dawn EVERY day, AND he’s always in a cheery, talkative mood first thing in the morning. Eeewwww!

That hurts just thinking about it.

I absolutely LOVE to stay up late and sleep in. I somehow manage to get up to make him coffee (most) every morning before he goes to work. That should be proof enough that I love him, don’t you think?!?

Here’s another biggie: I have children, he does not. And he’s fine with that. He loves WS1 and WS2 as if they were his own.

But no matter how many opposites we face with each other, we always have that ONE THING in common. That’s the love we have for each other.

Ok, that, and baseball……but we make each other better people. We are greater together than the sum of our parts. So if we’re going to have something in common, I’m so very glad it’s that ONE THING.

And baseball.

YW

wife@yankeewife.com

A few years ago I came across this article from wikiHow.  I needed it then, and I need a refresher course on it now. Since we all come across freakin’ ignorant people and their totally lame-o actions that need our forgiveness, I thought I would share it with you here.

How to Forgive 

One of the hardest, thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable. We love to read stories about people who’ve responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our default seems to be anger, angst, depression, righteousness, hatred, etc. Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts.

Want to live a long, happy life? Forgive the unforgivable. It really is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Your enemy may not deserve to be forgiven for all the pain and sadness and suffering purposefully inflicted on your life, but you deserve to be free of this evil. As Ann Landers often said, “hate is like an acid. It destroys the vessel in which it is stored.”

1. Realize that the hate you feel toward your enemy does not harm him or her in the slightest. Chances are, your enemy has gone on with life and hasn’t given you another thought.
2. Make a list of the good things that emerged as a result of this awful experience. You’ve probably focused long enough on the negative parts of this experience. Look at the problem from a completely new angle; look at the positive side. The first item on that list may be long overdue because you have focused on the negative for so long. See if you can identify 10 positive outcomes of this experience.
3. Look for the helpers. Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers) related that, as a little boy, he’d often become upset about major catastrophes in the news. His mother would tell him, “look for the helpers.” In your own nightmarish experience, think back to the people who helped you. Think about their kindness and unselfishness. Practice what you have learned from them.
4. Look at the bigger picture. Was someone your “Good Samaritan”? In this biblical story, a traveler happens to come across a poor soul who was beaten up on the road to Jericho and left for dead. It’s a lot easier to play the part of the Good Samaritan than to be the poor soul who is left bleeding and bruised on the side of the road. Perhaps this isn’t all about you. Perhaps your trial provided an opportunity for others to rise to an occasion to provide you with help and support.
5. Be compassionate with yourself. If you’ve ruminated over this problem for a long time, steering this boat into a new direction could take some time, too. As you try to make a new path out of the dark woods of this old hurt, you’ll make mistakes. Forgive yourself. Be patient and kind to yourself. Extreme emotional pain has a profound effect on the body. Give yourself time to heal – physically and emotionally. Eat well. Rest. Focus on the natural beauty in the world. Give yourself permission to feel the emotions and process them. Don’t bottle up the pain.
6. Learn that the Aramaic word for “forgive” means literally to “untie.” The fastest way to free yourself from an enemy and all associated negativity is to forgive. Untie the bindings and loosen yourself from that person’s ugliness. Your hatred has tied you to the person responsible for your pain. Your forgiveness enables you to start walking away from him or her and the pain. Forgiveness is for you and not the other party. Freeing yourself through forgiveness is like freeing yourself from chains of bondage or from prison.
7. Stop telling “the story.” How many times this week did you tell “the story” about how badly you were hurt and how horribly you were wronged? How many times a day do you think about this hurt? It is a stake driven into the ground that keeps you from moving away from this hurt. Rather, forgive your enemy because it’s the kindest thing you can do for your friends and family. Negativity is depressing – physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.
8. Tell “the story” from the other person’s perspective. Actually imagine that you are the other person (the one who offended you) and use the word “I” when saying what that person would say. You, most likely, don’t know exactly what s/he was thinking when this event unfolded but pretend that you do, and just go with the story that comes up in your head. Sit down with a friend, or maybe even the person you are trying to forgive, and tell the story as though you are that person. It is important to do this verbally and not just in your head. Realize in advance that this is not an easy exercise, but it holds great power. Your willingness to tell the story from the offender’s perspective requires an effort at forgiveness. Also, realize that this is not a contradiction to the preceding paragraph since this perspective will change yourstory.
9. Retrain your thinking. When your enemy and his or her evil actions come to mind, send him or her a blessing. Wish your enemy well. Hope the best for him or her. This has two effects. One, it neutralizes that acid of hate that destroys the vessel in which it is stored. The evil we wish for another seems to have a rebound effect. The same is true for the good that we wish for another. When you make yourself able to return blessing for hatred, you’ll know that you’re well on the path to wholeness. The first 15 – or 150 – times you try this, the “blessing” may feel contrived, empty, and even hypocritical but keep trying. Eventually, it will become a new habit and soon thereafter, the anger and pain that has burned in your heart will evaporate, like dew in the morning sun. This technique forces your mind to overcome the cognitive dissonance between hating someone and acting with compassion toward him or her. Since there is no way to take back the kind gesture to agree with your hatred, the only thing your mind can do is change your belief about the person to match. You will begin to say to yourself, “S/he is deserving of a blessing, and indeed, must need one very much.”
10. Maintain perspective: While the “evil” actions of your “enemy” are hurtful to you and your immediate surroundings, the rest of the world goes on unaware. Validate their meaning in your life, but never lose perspective that others are not involved and do not deserve anything to be taken out on them. Your enemy is someone else’s beloved child, someone’s employee, or a child’s parent.

Tips

• Put your best mental energies (perhaps first thing in the morning) into visualizing the new life you want. See yourself – in the future – as free of this pain and suffering.
• Keep the following quotes in mind if you’re finding it hard to generate positive feelings for the person:
  • “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Lewis B. Smedes
  • “Those who are the hardest to love, need it the most.”
  • “Follow peace with all men, and holiness,” -Hebrews 12:14.”
  • “As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.” -The Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
  • “Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it.”
  • “If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  • “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – The Golden Rule
  • “Be kind, for all you meet, are fighting a great battle.”- Philo
  • “The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”
• Sometimes it helps to think of how others have forgiven under incredible circumstances. Ask friends for support and examples to motivate you toward forgiveness.
• Forgiveness is a choice. When you say, “I can’t forgive that person,” what you’re really saying is, “I’m choosing not to forgive that person.” If you say it the second way instead, you’ll find yourself forgiving soon.
• You need to keep these four points in mind when forgiving someone:
  • Do not bring up the situation to yourself.
  • Do not bring up the situation to the offender.
  • Treat the offender as if it never happened.
  • Do not talk about the situation to others. 

Once all the “oooohing” and “aaaahing’s”  of the fireworks from the 4th were over, WS2 and I got into the ‘meat’ of our summer. So here we are, ready to launch into day 4 at the hottest, coolest time in Texas. And if you’re from the Lone Star state, you know that it can only mean one thing- SCHLITTERBAHN!  This German word translates into “slippery road”.  For WS2 and I, it translates into “the-water-park-just-two-blocks-away-that-we’re-going-to-every-day-that-we-can-’cause-it’s-just-that-fun” or just “SB”. For the past 3 days IN A ROW, we’ve traveled up, down, and around, and around, and around the slippery roads. One would think that we would get tired of the same ol’, same ol’ slippery, dippery roads. NOT SO. Each day has it’s own unique flavor.  The first day was all about getting our season passes, checking out the scene, trying on different rides to see what we liked and didn’t like.  Choices of rides are Torrent River, Dragon Blaster, Tempest, Wolf Pak, Thunder Tub, Kristal River, Rohr!,

Faust and Furious,

Guada Loopy and Loopy Luge,

Banzai Pipeline,

Cliffhanger and Twin Twisters,

and White Water River.

(Pictures five-fingered from Schlitterbahn website)

Day 2 was even better.  The newness and yet familiarity of it all was very cool.  By the afternoon, we were hosting “our” slippery, dippery roads to Hubby and FIL (father-in-law). We must’ve made them curious to see what all the hub-bub was about. Plus, it’s better than an afternoon’s worth of work, right? Thankfully they had some time to take a much needed break from their crazy work schedule.

By Day 3, we had something new going.  We’d been finding ‘lost’ items all along-one kid’s water shoe, 3 pair of sunglasses, and one hair clip.  Day 2 we even found our own lost pair of shades.  FIL’s sunglasses got swept away after he was dumped off his tube on the Torrent River-a winding river with continuous tidal waves.  About an hour later, WS2 found them perched on a ledge, just waiting for us to make our way back around. Now WS2 and I have a contest going to see who can find the most ‘stuff’. Now, instead of floating ‘lazily’ along the so-called lazy river, we’re both scanning the bottom for sunken treasures.  Each day holds a new surprise. Wonder what we’ll find today?